I don't wanna remember
by Zayhad
Summary: Johnny decides to go home one night instead of staying at the lot or going to the Curtis's house. When he comes home things have changed in some odd way. Will this be a change for the better? Or will it change his life to a even worse nightmare - I do not own the outsiders! I have rated it M for Violence-Mature content and disturbing. this is my first Fan fic - JohnnyXDally - slash
1. What happend

_**I don't wanna remember **_

_Alex Raundahl Madsen_

_Beta reader/editor – Muse35 _

_A fan-fiction from S.E Hinton's "The Outsiders" _

_**Chapter 1**_

He carefully removed the dust from the mirror, looking at the reflection and wondering when he would ever see his own face without any type of cuts or bruises on it. He let out a small sigh and put on his shirt from the day before. He didn't care much about the blood stains that were on it, nor the rip that was on the left sleeve. All he cared about right now was whether or not he would be able to leave the house without yet another beating.

Slowly he opened the door just enough to peek out into the hallway. No one there. Carefully he opened the door fully and slipped into the hallway. The floor made a few squeaking sounds even though he was walking as slowly and carefully as he could. Holding his breath, he slipped down the stairs into the living room. There was no one to be found. It was the same old mess with beer cans and old dirty clothes.

With a small relief he started to breathe normally. Looking around for his jacket, he stepped into the kitchen, finding his jacket on the floor next to the door. Then he remembered what had happened the night before.

It was a cold night. Much colder than usual for this time of year. Johnny had decided that it might be a bad idea to stay at the lot that night, so he had started walking towards the Curtis house, but a few meters from the house he could hear Darry yell at Pony about something. Usually it was about school. Pony never did seem to make Darry happy no matter what he did. What it was about this time he couldn't hear for sure, but he knew if he were to knock on that door everyone would look at him and try to act normally, just so they wouldn't upset him. He knew all too well that everyone tried to keep all the bad shit from him because he had enough of that at home. They would act like they thought he hadn't been able to hear them from the street and Johnny would just stand there feeling stupid. He didn't want to barge in in the middle of an argument. Then rather just leave them to it.

For some weird reason he had at that moment decided to go home. He would of course have been able to maybe go find Dally, who was probably at Bucks getting wasted. Dally would have let Johnny borrow his room for the night, but at that moment Johnny didn't think about that option. It actually just came to his mind now that he was thinking back on the night before.

It had started to rain and the wind had taken a turn for the worse. Not giving it much of a though, he ran towards his own house, opening the front door and letting it slam behind him. His hair dripping wet and his whole body shaking, unable to control it.

"What the hell is that noise?" a familiar voice yelled from the living room. Beer bottles and cans could be heard as they tipped over. From the sound of it someone was getting up and coming towards the kitchen. Only a few moments later his father came rampaging into the kitchen and with no hesitation he planted his fist in Johnny's jaw, knocking him to the floor.

"You stupid kid! I was just telling the guys a story and you came busting in like you own the house! What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

Tasting blood in his mouth, Johnny had thought: "They have company? We never have company!"

His thoughts where violently interrupted by a kick to the side. Johnny tried not to make a sound. He wouldn't give his father the pleasure of seeing the pain he was causing. A few more kicks where put to his side before he suddenly was pulled to his feet by the neck, his jacket being pulled off and dropped on the floor.

"Hmm... you know... you have to pay me back for your behavior you little shit."

Johnny tried to push him off but then a voice came from the living room, yelling at his father, telling him to get his ass back to finish the damn story. He stopped and yelled back, "Yeah I'm coming, just had to teach my dumbass son a lesson." He pushed Johnny back against the wall, letting him go. "Pff... some other time..." he said and wandered off back into the living room.

Johnny sighed and took on his jacket. His dad had never done anything but beat him, but lately he had seemed different, and even though Johnny had been afraid before, he had never been as afraid as he was last night.

He sat down for a brief moment. His body felt sore from the kicks and the punch he took to the jaw. He had not examined his body from the beating the other night. He didn't even remember how he got to bed. Slowly he moved his hand up and carefully examined his jaw. No it was surely not broken. His hand moved to his side to check for any broken ribs, but there was nothing. He let out a relieved sigh. Yet again he had been lucky.

He hated going to the hospital and having to explain where he had gotten the cuts and bruises. Of course it had become easier over the years, since many of the greasers always got into fights and other kinds of trouble, so the nurses always thought of him as just another punk from the streets who had had too much to drink or just been in trouble. After all, everyone from the "normal" side of town would think of him as a hood.

He remembered coming to school once with blood all over his shirt. His teacher had of course thought he had been fighting and had yelled at him and told him to go home. What she didn't know was that Johnny had by accident knocked over his dad's beer and his dad had struck him with a bat.

Johnny scratched his neck. It was sore like the rest of his body. He wondered why he had such a hard time remembering what had happened after his dad had let go of him, but he just shook his head. It was probably nothing. He got to his feet, looking at the old clock on the wall. It was almost noon already. His dad was either at work or at the bar and his mom was surely at the bar, but they usually came back to the house for some food at around this time, so it was about time to leave the house.

Walking down the street as fast as he could, Johnny's mind wandered off yet again to the night before. Why had there been people at their house last night? He couldn't really get that out of his head. His parents had not had company for almost 5 years. Heck maybe even longer. Johnny was so caught up in this that he didn't notice a guy sneaking up on him.

"Hey johnnycake! Funny to find you here on the streets on this fine day," Two-bit grinned as Johnny gave him with a surprised look that soon turned into a small smile.

"I'm always on the street Two-bit."

"Shush kid. I'm trying to make a joke here. It would probably be even weirder if you were not on the street… but what I meant was... what are you doing ON the street?"

Johnny suddenly realized he was walking in the middle of the street and quickly jumped onto the sidewalk.

Two-bit laughed. "Damn Johnny you must be daydreaming. You always stay far away from the street. Heck, sometimes I think you have a relationship with the walls of all the buildings in this town as much as you hug 'em."

Johnny gave him a small smile, trying to hide the bruise on his face by keeping his head down. Of course Two-bit had probably already noticed, but he didn't say anything and Johnny was glad he didn't. He just didn't want to explain anything right now.

"So... where you headed? Curtis house? I myself was on my way there. Superman is probably at work and so is Soda. Now that I think about it..." Two-bit took out a cigarette and lit it. "Pony might be at school still."

"Then why go there, Two-bit?" Johnny asked, trying to tease the older greaser.

"Two words, kiddo. TV and chocolate cake." He laughed.

Johnny just sighed but couldn't help smiling. Two-bit always made him smile, even when he had the worst day.

Johnny decided that he didn't really have anything better to do, so he tagged along. Two-bit blabbered on about some random stuff he had done the night before. He seemed a bit intoxicated so Johnny guessed he had been drinking. Usually Johnny didn't really like drunks, mostly because of his father and mother, but Two-bit was the funny kind of drunk. Sure, sometimes he didn't think before he acted but he never meant any harm by the stuff he did to his fellow greasers. He had scared Johnny a few times, sneaking up on him and such, but he always said sorry afterwards. As said, he didn't think about it too much.

Suddenly Two-bit stopped and pointed to the other side of the street. "Hey, ain't that your mom kid?"

Johnny followed Two-bit's finger with his eyes. His mom was walking down the street, not stumbling like she usually did. In fact she didn't look drunk at all. Johnny's eyes widened a bit when he saw a man walking with her.

Two-bit must have noticed the look on Johnny's face and asked: "Who's the guy?"

Johnny didn't answer. He just stood there staring at the woman that was supposed to be his mom and the man walking and laughing with her. Two-bit asked his question again, looking rather confused. Finally Johnny answered, not taking his eyes off the two. "I don't know... I have never seen him before."


	2. We just care about you

**Chapter 2**

Two-Bit and Johnny walked to the Curtis house in almost complete silence. Two-Bit tried to start a conversation about the weather and other stuff a few times but since Johnny only answered with a short amount of words, he gave up after a few minutes.

Two-Bit grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open. The door was never locked at the Curtis's house, even when they weren't home. Darry always said that he would rather have them dropping by than staying on the street for the night and it wasn't like they had much anyone could steal anyways, so they weren't afraid of any burglars. And of course Darry was a big and strong looking guy that no one would dare mess with, so robbing his house was pretty much out of the question.

Johnny was so caught up in thought that he didn't notice someone standing right in his face. Horrified, he jumped a few steps back and bumped into the door. He looked back at the icy eyes staring at him. It was a surprised looking Dallas Winston.

"Heeeeey Dal. Don't scare the kid out of the house already. We just got here," Two-Bit laughed, walking to the kitchen.

Johnny had not even realized he had walked through the door. How long had he been standing there without saying anything to Dally? He let his hand slide down his left arm with a nervous gesture. Dally still just looked at him, and it made Johnny uncomfortable. He seemed to notice so he went to sit down in a brown armchair that was placed in the corner. Johnny dropped down onto the couch and they sat there for what seemed like hours without saying anything.

"Did you get beaten up again Johnny?" Dally suddenly said. Johnny looked at him surprised and Dally just leaned back. "I thought as much... damn son of a bitch..." Dally kept going for a few seconds.

Johnny was surprised just how many swearwords could be said in one sentence. "Someday kid… Someday that bastard is gonna get what he deserves, man. I'm telling ya." He got up and walked to the bathroom, returning only a few minutes later with a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and a piece of cloth.

Two-Bit came back from the kitchen and sat down on the floor with a big piece of chocolate cake and a beer, turning on the TV. Johnny wondered why it had taken him so long just to get that, but his thoughts where interrupted by Dally sitting down on the couch beside him and dabbing a piece of cloth on the side of his head.

"Ouch, Dal! Is that really necessary? It's only a bruise."

"The skin has broken, so you can get an infection if you don't clean it up, kid," Dally said as he cleaned the side of Johnny's face.

Johnny just let him. For some reason Dally was always kind to him. He was never kind to anyone else, but Johnny he looked out for.

"Why did you go home, man?" Dallas said. You could hear that he was still pissed off, so Johnny wondered if he should tell him the reason.

"I... just didn't wanna bother people by coming by. It was kinda late so I figured Pony was already off to bed and so was Soda. I didn't wanna keep Darry up either and I know you were probably at Bucks at some party so I..."

"You should just go to one of us and never home Johnny!" Dallas cut him off. "You know that piece of shit will hurt you, and you go home anyways."

Johnny just looked down with a very hurt expression on his face.

Dally sighed. "Look Johnny... we just don't want you to get hurt..." He looked down as he put some new peroxide on the piece of cloth, talking so softly, only Johnny could hear it. "_I _don't want you to get hurt..."

Johnny looked at bit surprised at the much more mean looking greaser, that for a split second looked very worried.

Dally must have noticed Johnny's expression because he suddenly changed his and got up, leaving the peroxide and cloth next to Johnny. "I think it's good for now." He walked over to the armchair again and sat down.

There was silence for a few minutes before Two-Bit broke it by turning around, looking at Dally. "So... when are the gang coming back from work and school?"

Dally looked like he didn't really care but answered, "A few hours I think. Speaking of school - weren't you supposed to be at school also Two-Bit?"

Two-Bit laughed a little. "Nah, I took the day off. I need to let my teachers have some peace once in a while if I don't want them to go crazy and kick me out." He turned to the TV once more. "Besides I ran into kiddo there, and I couldn't just leave him wandering the streets. Someone might think he was up to no good." He laughed again.

Johnny just shook his head. He never got into trouble with the law. He was actually the most law-abiding of them all. Well, him and Ponyboy. Dally just lit a smoke. He didn't seem to care much for Two-Bit's jokes at that moment. Johnny felt kind of uncomfortable all of the sudden and got up.

Dally looked over at him. "Going somewhere, kid?"

"I'm... just gonna grab some fresh air… I don't feel too good, so..."

Dally replied with a nod as a form of acceptance, so Johnny went outside and sat down on the porch. He lit a smoke, hoping it might settle his nerves, but little did it help. He felt nauseous. Dally suddenly dropped down beside him and Johnny almost jumped off the porch. Dally probably didn't mean to scare him but for the moment he had other stuff on his mind.

"So… wanna tell me what's going on?" Dally looked at him, noticing that Johnny didn't even touch his cigarette, which was going to waste in his shaking hand, so he took it with two fingers and started smoking it himself.

Johnny sighed a little, trying to get a hold of himself. "My folks had people over last night..."

"So?" Dally just looked straight forward.

"Well…" Johnny scratched the back of his neck. "They haven't had people over for years, and suddenly from one day to the other they do. Also, I saw my mom earlier with some guy I didn't know. I dunno, Dal... it kinda seems unreal to me."

Dally blew a smoke ring. "But did your dad hurt you or did he turn all goody two shoes when they had people over?" he asked without hesitation. He had probably gotten used to Johnny's gruesome tales about the beatings that where going on at home by now, so nothing could really shock him anymore.

"He got... mad at me for slamming the door, so he punched me."

"And I bet the guests didn't do shit about it, am I right...?"

Johnny nodded.

"Well then they are assholes as well, so stay away from them. Got it? Also, I dunno about your mom, kid. Maybe she is fooling around or it might be one of the people from yesterday. Drinking buddies, what do I know." He looked at Johnny, who had lowered his head. He sighed. "Look kid. I dunno what your mom's up to but she is not gonna hurt you or yell at you when you're not home. So for now stay the hell away from the house. It's enough your folks are beating you up. Don't want their friends to get the idea that they can do the same."

Johnny just nodded. He didn't really want to talk about it anymore. Also, he left out the details of his dad's words about him needing to pay him back. He was still not sure what he had meant by that. Also, he didn't recall his mom's voice at all the other night. She was usually the first to start yelling. Actually she was almost the only one ever yelling at him. His dad mostly just beat him. Was she even at the house the other night? And if she wasn't, then the guy she was with today couldn't be any of the guests. Could it?

"Did you hear me kid?"

Johnny turned his head. "What?"

"I said - stay away from the house for now. I don't want those drunks to think they can beat on you as well."

Johnny nodded. "Ye-yes, Dal... of course. I'll just stay at the lot for a few days."

"Serious Johnny... go here or come find me. Don't go home!"

Johnny lit a new smoke, since Dallas had taken his, still feeling nauseous but trying to act like nothing was wrong. "I won't...I promise..."


	3. Friends talk

_**Chapter 3**_

It didn't feel like long before Ponyboy came tumbling through the door. He didn't look too surprised to find a bunch of people who had taken up residence in the living room. He nodded as a small "Hello" to the three people and put down his backpack before dropping down next to Johnny.

"Ahhh... it's so nice to be home," he said with some relief in his voice.

"Hard day, kid?" Two-Bit grinned a bit, turning his head from the TV screen for just a few seconds to look at Pony.

"It's the usual, Two-Bit. We have to write some essay for the end of next week about an event that had a great impact on our lives… What am I supposed to write about? I only have until next weekend to write 10 pages at least and if Darry finds out I haven't started yet, he's gonna skin me alive..."

"Hmmm... That is enough time, kiddo. No problem. Write about a movie or something. You always go to see a lot of movies, so why not just write about that?"

Pony gave Two-Bit a look of hopelessness.

"It was supposed to be about something that has had a great impact on my life. Something life changing or something. Not some fictional story."

Johnny looked from one to the other as they discussed whether or not a movie could be a life changing experience.

"Why don't you write about when your parents died?" Dallas leaned a bit forward in the brown arm chair. He lit a smoke, not seeming to be bothered by what he just said. Pony looked somewhat hurt by his words, but he also knew that it was true. The death of his parents was of course a life changer. Not just for him but for everyone. His parents had been the parents for all the boys in the gang. Not so much Two-Bit, though. His own mom was great, after all.

"Yeah... I could do that..." he replied.

Dallas still didn't seem to notice much of the sorrow in Pony's voice, but Johnny had noticed, so he put a hand on his shoulder, as a form of understanding on his behalf. Ponyboy looked back at Johnny with a small smile.

"I'm gonna go for a walk…" he said and got up. "Wanna join, Johnny?" Not really waiting for Johnny to respond, he dragged him to his feet and out the door.

Walking a little too fast for Johnny's taste, he followed Ponyboy down the street towards the park. In some weird way he could feel that Pony was upset about something, more than what Dallas had said. Not knowing whether or not he should ask him what was wrong, he just pulled out a smoke and handed it to him. Pony took it and thanked him.

"Pony… are you okay? You know Dal didn't mean anything by what he said. It's his way of helping, I suppose."

"Yeah I know. And it's not that. I just needed to get out for a while. I dunno, Johnny... I'd just forgotten for a brief moment that they were dead. I know it's stupid, but in some strange way I imagined that they are one vacation somewhere..." He lit the smoke.

Johnny just nodded. He also thought that sometimes. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis had been the only adults that had ever been nice to him. They always welcomed him to their home, and when he went to school, he came by for breakfast before heading off. It almost seemed like a normal life for him back then.

"I'm sorry Johnny… I know you don't need me talking about my parents all the time," Ponyboy said as he stopped and sat down on the curb. Johnny just shook his head.

"I don't mind you talking about them, Pone… really I like to remember them. It shows there was some good in this world…"

Pony looked at him for a brief moment and nodded, before turning his head to look over at the park, where a few kids where running around playing something that looked like tag.

"Darry and I had a fight yesterday… He yelled at me again for daydreaming too much. I forgot to do some chores. We got in a huge fight and of course it had to come back to how things where before mom and dad died. I guess that's why I got a bit upset about Dal mentioning it." He sighed. His hands were shaking as he raised the cigarette to his mouth.

"It's kinda stupid really. I mean, we use to get along fine before they died and now it seems like he can't really stand me anymore. I'm sure he would put me in a boys' home if he could…"

"That's not true Pony and you know that," Johnny replied, a bit surprised of what Ponyboy had just said. He knew of course that Darry yelled at Ponyboy a lot, but there was something about the way he did it. He didn't seem like he wanted to beat him up or throw him out of the house like when Johnny's dad yelled at him. No it was a way of caring. A strange way, yes, but he cared, and Johnny knew that.

"I dunno anymore…" Pony didn't even look at him. He just kept his eyes on the kids running around. "Hey - do you remember when we were kids? When we didn't fight with the Socs all the time and all we ever had to worry about was whether or not the weather would be okay for us to stay outside all day?" He smiled a bit. "I remember that time. Darry was happy back then. He was going to school and talking about how he was gonna make it… and now he has to work all the time. He didn't make it, Johnny. He had to drop out and work so we could stay together."

Johnny could hear that Pony was on the edge of breaking down in tears, so he put an arm around him. "I... I don't think Darry hates you Pony… I don't." He shook his head briefly. He didn't really feel too good all of the sudden. The nauseating feeling was back, and he could feel his hands getting cold.

"Are you okay, Johnny? You look awfully pale."

Ponyboy helped him to his feet, sending him a worried look. "Are you sick? Why didn't you say so instead of just letting me blabber on about my problems?"

Johnny shook his head and put a hand to his forehead. It felt like the inside of his skull was burning but his skin was cold. "I'm okay. Don't worry about me," he said, trying to smile. "I'm tired, that's all."

Ponyboy kept looking at him, seeming to try to figure out what was wrong with him.

"Let's go home to my house. You can rest a bit there," he said as they started to walk back, this time not as fast as when they left the house. Johnny's eyesight became a bit blurry and he held onto Pony for support. He tried to act like nothing was wrong but inside he felt like he was melting.

They reached the house a good 10 minutes later and Ponyboy pushed the door open. As he did, Johnny tried to stand up straight. He knew Dally would be all over him about it if he was suddenly feeling sick. Dallas did know what had happened after all. Well most of it.

Pony looked at him, a little worried still. "Are you feeling better?"

"Feeling better...? What happened?" Dallas got up from his spot in the corner. "What's wrong?" His eyes went from Pony and then to Johnny, who didn't speak. He stood there for a few seconds before looking at Ponyboy.

"Would it be okay if I went to your room to lie down?" Johnny said, doing his best to sound normal, but his voice was trembling and he had a gagging feeling in the back of his throat.

Ponyboy nodded with a worried look on his face.

Johnny would have told him he was alright, but that would be a lie and he knew they would all see through it faster than he could tell it, so he just thanked him briefly and went to the room, closing the door behind him.

"What the fuck happened, Pony?" Dallas hissed, looking at the closed door, not sure if he should go over and kick the damn door in and drag Johnny to the hospital, even though he knew the kid hated going there.

"I'm not sure," the younger male replied, his eyes also on the closed door. "We were just talking and he suddenly looked really pale. I thought he was gonna faint for a second. But he said he was just tired."

Ponyboy thought about it. Johnny was always stressed out, jumping at every little thing that happened around him, but lately he had been more distant in some way. He sighed. What was wrong with his friend? He always told him if something was wrong.

"Well the kid was spacing out when I ran into him," Two-Bit said. He had turned off the TV. "Man I don't think I've even seen him that distant. He was walking in the middle of the street, looking a bit confused you could say."

"We'll have to ask him about it when he wakes up," Dally said, walking around to try to calm down.

"If this is his damn father's fault, I'm gonna kick the bastard's teeth in," he threatened.

"I'll gladly join in," Two-bit said, getting up from his spot on the floor. "No matter what happens, we have to keep an eye on him for now, 'cause heck I dunno what the hell is going on with him."

Dally looked at Ponyboy and then at Two-bit.

"None of us do. 'Cause he ain't telling us everything..."

_Hello readers ^^ yes I know I have two chapters now with a lot of talking but I want there to be some conversation between the boys and also some feelings, letting people know what they think. Even show some friendly feelings and concern._

_Thanks to Muse35 for helping me. Thank you so much :D_

_now... lets see what happened to Johnny ;) __**starts writing chapter 4**_


	4. I just want you to love me

_**Chapter 4**_

"_Let me go!"_

"_Come on now... don't play hard to get."_

_Snapping sound_

"_GET OFF ME!"_

_Laughter_

"Johnny?"

_Laughter and another snapping sound_

"_Leave me alone!"_

"Johnny!"

Johnny sat up with a start, breathing heavily, eyes filled with terror. Dally was sitting on the edge of the bed with a concerned look on his face. A look Johnny had never seen before on Dallas Winston. The room was dark, apart from the sparse light the street lamps cast into the room.

"What... what happened?" Johnny said

"You tell me. Bad dream?" Dally replied, still with that look on his face.

Johnny leaned forward, burying his face in his hands. He did his very best not to cry, trying to get control over his body, but a few sobs escaped anyway, and he kept shaking.

Dally leaned a bit forward and ruffled his hair.

"Do you wanna tell me what's going on with you?" he asked in a low voice.

"I… I don't know what's going on, Dal... I don't remember..."

Dally pushed Johnny's hands away from his face and hooked a finger under his chin, tilting his face up to meet his eyes. "Tell me what you know, Johnny," he said in an imperious tone. "I need to know." His eyes narrowed, looking like two small pieces of ice in the light from the street lamp outside.

But little did it help. "I... I don't remember. I _told_ you. I came home... and my dad took a swing at me… I don't remember what happened after that," he sobbed, wanting to look away, but Dally kept his head in place.

Dally bit his lower lip, looking like he had something on his mind, his eyes still narrowed as he looked at Johnny.

"One day I'll get that son of a bitch for what he's doing to you! I swear I will fucking kill him!"

His voice was low but threatening. Johnny just sobbed and closed his eyes, trying desperately to control himself. You don't cry in front of Dallas Winston. That is just not something you do. Johnny suddenly felt a hand softly touching the side of his face. He opened his eyes, looking back at Dally, who was now sitting a bit closer to him.

"I don't want him to hurt you anymore."

Dallas gently stroked the side of Johnny's face. His voice had changed to a more caring tone with a hint of sadness.

Johnny could feel his heart pounding faster in his chest, looking at Dallas, still trying to keep the tears away. He had felt so alone in his nightmare. He had felt helpless and yet he had no idea what had happened.

Dally tilted his head a bit to the side and leaned a little forward, his eyes focused on Johnny's.

Johnny could feel his face turn red, not sure what was going on, as Dally leaned towards him, keeping eye contact, his lips moving closer to his. Johnny closed his eyes, feeling his whole face burn.

The door slammed open.

Dallas quickly let go of Johnny and looked away.

"Hey Johnny - how are you feeling?"

Sodapop stood in the doorway.

"Dal was going to go check on you but he's been gone for a good 30 minutes. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," Dallas hissed, getting off the bed. He walked over and sat in a chair in the corner.

Johnny had noticed that Dally's face had been a bit red when he was close to him, but it was hard to see if it still was, now that he was sitting in complete darkness.

"You sure you're okay Johnnycake? You look a little flushed?" Soda put his hand on Johnny's forehead, checking for a fever.

"Yeah... yeah I'm okay. I just need some air, I think," Johnny said and got off the bed. He went past Soda without saying anything else.

Soda turned his head after Johnny, then looked over at Dally, who was hiding in the corner.

"Did I say something wrong?"

Dally sighed. "No... you just barged in at a _very _bad time."

Soda scratched the back of his head, slightly confused.

Johnny went out into the living room and got his jacket that was hanging on a chair. Two-Bit was sitting on the couch next to Steve, talking about girls. Two-Bit, of course, about some blonde he had seen.

Johnny stood there for a few minutes, trying to get his normal color back, when Ponyboy came out from his room.

"Hey Johnny, are you feeling any better?" Pony said. He didn't mention the blush Johnny knew he had on his face.

"Yeah, I'm okay, Pone. I just need some air, that's all. I'll be back later okay?"

Ponyboy looked at him, a little worried

"You don't want me to come with you?" he asked, hinting he needed some air too.

"Nah it's cool. I need to think a little, I might come back and pick you up in a little while," Johnny said, really just wanting to get out and think.

"Just leave him a bit, Pony," Two-Bit said.

"With that look he has on his face and that blush, I think kiddo had a lady dream." He laughed and punched Steve on the shoulder. Steve tried not to laugh but he only held it for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

Johnny's face turned all red in an instant. He turned around and walked to the door.

"I'll be b-back later," he stuttered and pulled the door open, leaving the house. As he left, he could hear Two-Bit getting smacked upside the head and Ponyboy saying something like "nice going."

Johnny walked down the street. The asphalt was wet but it had stopped raining by now. He walked slowly, trying to gather his thoughts. What had just happened? What had his dream been about and what had happened to Dally all of the sudden? The more he tried to think about it, the more confused he got. He wondered what the snapping sound in his dream had been, and who the owner of the voice had been. It wasn't his dad. No, he knew that voice all too well. He also started to think about his mom. He still wondered about the man she had been with. Who was he?

Deep in thought, he hadn't noticed that he had walked all the way home. Suddenly he was standing in his front yard, looking at the living room window. Inside there was screaming so he knew both his parents where home. Not surprised, he turned around to walk the other way, when he heard a loud noise, sounding a little like shattering wood. He looked over his shoulder, seeing his father standing with a bat in his hand, inside the house. Not thinking twice, he ran over to the window to look inside. His mom was lying on the broken coffee table, holding her hand to the side of her head. Johnny ran to the door, yanking it open.

"Leave my mom alone!" he yelled, not really thinking it through. What was he doing? His mom had never been nice to him. Not that he could remember, anyways.

His father lowered the bat and looked at him. His mom also looked at him, a little surprised, but she didn't say anything.

"I... I said leave her alone. You can't hurt my m-mom," he stuttered, trying to look serious; but it wouldn't take much to see he was scared.

His father kept his eyes on him. He kept the bat lowered, but then started to move towards Johnny.

Johnny moved over beside his mom, hoping that she would stand up and defend him, as he had defended her. But no. She stayed where she was.

Within a second, his father had a hold of his hair, tilting his head back.

"What did you say, boy?!"

He gave Johnny's hair a yank.

Johnny tried to hit him, swinging his arm the best he could, but it was no use.

His dad had let go of the bat and now had a hold of his arm as well.

"You're defending your good for nothing mother? Who do you think you are? Some sort of fucking hero?"

He turned Johnny, so his arm was on his back, still having a good hold of his hair.

"Do you know that your mom is sleeping around? Are you in on it too, you little bastard? Ha! So you two have the idea of just leaving me for some rich guy?"

Johnny looked out of the corner of his eye at his mom. She was having an affair? With a Soc? So that was the man he had seen her with.

"I'm telling you this, you little shit. You and your mom are staying here!"

He threw Johnny to the floor and picked up the bat.

"If you don't understand that, I will just have to make you understand. Even if I have to beat it into your god damn head!"

Johnny tried to get up, but his farther put a foot in his back, keeping him down on the floor.

His mom got up, seeing her chance to escape, she ran to the door and disappeared out into the darkness.

Johnny looked after her, tears running down his face. His arm stretched out like he was trying to catch her. She left? She left him there with his dad, even after Johnny had tried to protect her, showing her he loved her, even after all she had done to him.

"You better run you dirty whore!" his dad yelled after her. Then he turned his attention to his son, who lay beneath him.

"Did you think she cared about you? She doesn't care about anyone but her god damn self. And neither do you, you little shit."

He picked up Johnny from the floor by his neck, turning him around so he could look at him. He smiled and with a quick movement he shoved the handle of the bat into Johnny's stomach, knocking the air out of him. He let him go and watched him sink to the floor in pain.

Johnny gasped for air, trying to move to the door but his dad knocked him over with the bat. Johnny could feel he didn't put all his strength into it, but it was enough to knock him over. Evidently he didn't want to kill him. He just wanted to hurt him. Johnny could feel the blood running down the side of his head. He lay there for a few seconds, trying to catch his breath. He heard the sound of the bat hitting the floor once more and then he got pulled up by his hair.

"I'd love to just beat the living shit out of you with the bat, but it wouldn't be as much fun," he said. He actually laughed a bit. Johnny could smell the alcohol on his breath. It was no surprise to him that his dad was drunk. He tried to stay awake but his eyesight was getting blurry, blood running down his face from a cut to the side of his forehead.

"Dad... please... let me go."

Johnny could hardly get the words out. Every word he said hurt his head like another blow.

"Do you think you have _anything_ to say in this matter?"

He threw him to the floor, just beside him, placing a kick to his side.

"I would kill you right here and now if it wasn't because I could still use you for something," he snarled.

Johnny lay almost still. His whole body hurt and he was afraid to move from fear of beginning to scream in pain. He drew a few quick breaths, hoping his dad had become bored with him already. Would he be so lucky?

"I will find that good for nothing..." his dad kept on.

Johnny couldn't really understand what he was saying anymore. He could hardly stay awake. As his eyesight started to fade he saw a glimpse of a small box under the dresser against the back wall. A small black box.


	5. I don't wanna know you!

_**Chapter 5**_

Johnny opened his eyes slowly. His head hurt more than he had ever experienced before. He lay on the cold floor for a few minutes without moving an inch. Only a small moan was the sign of him being alive to the outside world.

Behind him, he could hear heavy breathing as the only sound within the house. Slowly, and in pain, he rolled onto his back and turned his head, seeing his dad sleeping on the couch. Bottles of beer lay within his reach on the floor around him.

Johnny sat up slowly, doing his best not to make a sound, but he let out a few groans as he got into an upright possession. His eyesight turned a bit fuzzy for a few seconds, but he wanted to get up and get out as fast as he could.

As he got on his feet his dad moved, making a few groaning sounds, and he turned to face the back of the couch. Johnny froze as he did, but could settle with relief that his dad didn't wake up.

Johnny moved slowly to the door. He needed to leave. Go to his friends. He carefully pushed it open. A cold breeze hit his face as the door opened with a creaking sound. The cold air made him feel better for a moment and he closed his eyes to take in the feeling of the breeze. However, he came back to reality when he heard his dad behind him, mumbling something about the cold air, and Johnny slipped out through the door and closed it behind him.

He walked down the street at a slow pace. There were no people outside, but the sun was already on its way up, so Johnny guessed it would be around six – six thirty. He hoped for a moment that the Curtis brothers would not be home when he got to the house, but he knew they would be. Darry usually left at around seven along with Soda, and Pony left at seven thirty. Maybe he shouldn't go there. He had promised Ponyboy to come back and pick him up but that was hours ago and he knew that they would have been worried about him. If Dallas was at the house still, he would probably be furious.

Johnny decided to go to the house anyway. He needed to wash up and maybe get some ice for his head. He had not even thought about what he might look like after the hits his dad had planted on him.

He got to the house a few minutes later, and he could see movement inside. Taking in a deep breath, he went up the stairs and carefully opened the door. It didn't take two seconds before Ponyboy was in front of him, looking slightly shocked.

"Johnny! What happened? Where did you go? We got really worried. Everyone went looking for you."

Johnny looked down. He felt so ashamed about going back to his house. He knew he had worried everyone by that action.

Ponyboy suddenly stopped talking and moved his hand up, brushing away Johnny's hair from his face.

"Darry!"

Darry had already come into the room, looking at Johnny in shock. Beside him was Soda. And Dallas.

Before Darry could say anything, Dallas was in front of Johnny, having a good grip of his upper arms, looking at him while he gave him a good shake...

"Why did you go home, huh? I told you to stay away from that house, kid!"

Johnny didn't look at him. His head hurt even more when Dallas shook him, and he wished he hadn't. He felt nauseous.

"Dal, stop! You're hurting him, man!" Sodapop yelled at him, moving over beside Dallas, trying to make him let go of Johnny.

"I've been looking for you all night, kid! Along with the others. We even went past your house but the lights where off. What the hell happened?" Dallas kept on.

"I-I don't..." Johnny stuttered, trying to explain, but he was on the verge of tears.

"Dallas let go of him. He need's something for that cut he has. Let me have a look at him and then you can question him after that," Darry said. He too stood beside Dally now.

Dallas looked at Darry for a brief moment and then back at the shaking black haired kid in front of him. Then he let go of Johnny.

"I'm going to Buck's, man... I need to cool off. Otherwise I'm gonna freaking kick someone's head in," he said and went out the door.

Johnny just stood there. He didn't say anything. He didn't even dare to look at the three people in front of him.

Darry knelt down in front of Johnny, smoothing the hair away from the smaller boy's face and taking a better look at the cut. He got up and put an arm around Johnny, leading him to the kitchen, ordering him to sit down on a chair beside a small table.

Soda sat down on the counter and Ponyboy sat down beside Johnny. No one said anything. Ponyboy just rubbed Johnny's shoulder, trying to calm his friend a little after the incident with Dallas.

Darry came back a few minutes later with a box that Johnny knew all too well. It had all the meds and bandages the brothers had, and Johnny was the major consumer of all the things in that medical box.

Darry pulled out a small piece of cloth, wetting it under the faucet and then walked over to Johnny, carefully tilting his head as he started to clean the cut.

"So - what happened kiddo?" Darry asked.

"I... I was walking around," Johnny started. "I was really just walking around, trying to think. Suddenly I was at home and I wanted to leave but... I heard my mom getting hurt. I dunno, I just felt like I had to protect her."

Johnny was glad Dallas was not there to hear him say that. He would have knocked him out for even saying he wanted to do anything for his folks.

"So... you got in a fight with your dad?" Soda looked at Johnny, a bit surprised.

Johnny nodded.

"What happened? I mean - what did your mom do when you protected her?" Pony asked.

Johnny was quiet for a few seconds.

"She left," he said. "She left me there with him. I dunno, I think she was scared."

"I'm sure she was," Darry said as he finished cleaning Johnny up.

Johnny could hear the tension in his voice and sensed there was more that he wanted to say but didn't.

"Look, Johnny, I think it's best you go to the hospital. You don't look too good and you might have a concussion. Do you feel like you're gonna throw up? Dizzy? Anything?"

"No," Johnny lied. "No, Darry, I'm fine... really."

Johnny didn't want to go there. Besides, he couldn't afford being put in the hospital. Steve had been in the hospital with a concussion once and he had to stay for two whole days. Besides, if he stacked up a hospital bill it would give his dad even more reason to beat on him.

Darry didn't look convinced but he sighed and put a bandage on the cut.

"Alright then, but you go with Pony to school and stay there. I don't want you to be alone if you suddenly get sick. I know it sucks to have to stay at the school, but there will be people around, so if you get ill, someone can take you to the hospital. Got it?" He looked at Pony and then at Johnny.

Both boys nodded.

"And none of you talk to anyone you don't know. You got that?"

Johnny looked slightly confused but Ponyboy just nodded.

"Good. Now come on, Sodapop. We're re gonna be late for work."

Soda didn't look too excited but he jumped down from the counter and went out into the living room, picking up his shoes. Darry talked to Pony for a few minutes about keeping a good eye on Johnny and then he left, dragging Soda to the car.

Pony looked at Johnny. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah". Honestly he felt horrible but he didn't want to worry his friend, so he just got up and tried to smile.

"What time do you have to be at school?" Johnny asked.

"Uhm... I don't have to be there until nine. So if you want we can watch some TV?"

Johnny walked with his friend to the living room and dropped down onto the couch, Pony sitting down beside him. They turned on the TV.

"What did Darry mean by us not talking to anyone we don't know?" Johnny suddenly asked. He had been wondering about that. The boys, of course, never talked to anyone but greaser, mostly because there would be a good chance that people they didn't know could have something to do with the Socs, but Darry had never ordered them not to talk to _anyone _they didn't know.

"You haven't heard?" Pony looked at Johnny. "Darry said someone at work told him about some kids getting killed. Apparently they found drugs in their system, so Darry has been over Soda and me about it since he heard."

Ponyboy signed and turned his head towards the TV.

"Darry just don't want me to talk to strangers after that. Not like I'm ever gonna do drugs, but he's afraid whoever is selling might force it on me just to see what happens."

Johnny leaned back. He hadn't heard anything about drugs on the streets of Tulsa, but it was no surprise that it would happen at some point. He didn't feel the urge to try drugs, though.

"I don't get it, really," Pony said. "Why would anyone wanna take drugs? I mean, Dally told us about it and how it was on the streets of New York but I never figured it would come here. Well okay, this is a rough neighborhood, but none of the guys we know would ever touch that stuff."

Johnny tried to not let his pain show. His skull ached at every inch he moved his head.

"Well I'm never gonna do any of that stuff. No matter what anyone says."

Pony smiled at his friend, who gave him a smile back, but he noticed the look Johnny had. It was sort of a mournful look. It was not anything new to see Johnny with a sad look in his eyes, but for some reason he looked like a part of him had died and nothing seemed to matter anymore. Pony put an arm around him and pulled him closer.

"You wanna talk? Are you sad about Dal yelling at you?" Pony asked, trying to sound like everything would be alright. He knew Johnny was upset about the beating he had gotten, but Dallas yelling at him was even worse for him than any beating. Johnny looked up to Dallas as an idol and everyone knew it.

Johnny shrugged.

"He was out all night looking for you. Don't tell him I told ya... but I think he was really worried. He kept talking about what he would do if you were hurt. I haven't seen him like that ever."

Johnny sent Pony a surprised look. Dally worried? No way. Dally would never worry about anyone. He always talked about how you just have to care about yourself and no one else. That way you would never get hurt.

They had been sitting there for what seemed like forever when Ponyboy suddenly got up.

"Come on. Let's go out and get some air. Maybe find Two-bit or something. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure he knows you're back yet," Pony laughed.

Johnny got up, following his friend out the door.

The sun was peeking over the roofs now, and the rays hit Johnny's face with a nice feeling of warmth. But the air was still cold, making him shiver for a second.

Pony put his arm around him and smiled. Johnny could tell he was worried but didn't want to show it. He also suspected that Pony didn't really believe him when he said he was fine.

They walked down the street, not saying anything, just enjoying each other's company. Most of the cafes where already open and people were sitting inside, getting their morning coffee along with a small meal. The boys had a few times talked about how much they wanted to go in sometime and just enjoy a small meal without having to worry about the bill. Not that it was that expensive, but they would rather be able to buy smokes than go to a cafe or a diner and eat.

As they got close to the most popular cafe that was on the corner, leading to the much richer side of town, a woman came out, smiling and laughing.

Johnny froze. "Mom?"

The woman stopped and looked at him. The left side of her face was bruised but she had tried to cover it up with makeup. Quickly she turned around, trying to walk the other way, but Johnny grabbed her arm.

"Mom? Mom, why did you leave? I-I tried to protect you from dad. Are you… are you having an affair? Mom?"

A man stepped out from the cafe and looked at them. His hair was short and combed back and he was wearing a suit with a vest and a black jacket in something that looked like very expensive fabric. Clearly he was not from this side of town.

Johnny's mom yanked her arm out of Johnny's grip, looking at him with a gaze of hate.

"I don't have any money you can have, you hood!" she said and walked towards the man that had walked a bit ahead of her.

"But... Mo-"

She turned to face him once more, walked over to him and grabbed him by the arm.

"Don't call me mother. Not now. Not ever. You're your dad's kid. You're not mine. I cannot ever look at your again," she hissed and let him go, turning away and leaving him stunned.

Johnny felt his entire body give out and he sank to his knees, watching her go.

"Who was the kid?" The man asked.

"Oh… just some street kid begging for money," Johnny's mother grinned. She didn't even look back as they walked off.

Pony dropped down beside Johnny, looking at him. Johnny felt Pony's shaking hand on his shoulder. A clear sign of anger, and he was sure for a second that Pony would start yelling after his mother but he didn't

"Johnny? Johnny, talk to me," he whispered.

Johnny's eyes where filled with tears.

"She... she doesn't want to know of me Pony," he said, his voice breaking a few times.

Pony just looked at him, put an arm around him and pulled him in close.

"What did I do wrong?" Johnny said with a low voice as he felt the tears run down his face. "What did I do wrong?"

oOoOoOoOo

_**Hello readers ^^ 3**_

_**Hope you like the story so far. I'm enjoying writing this.. well as much as you can with all the bad stuff of course.**_

_**Next chapter – will Johnny start to remember? **_


	6. Something to think about

_**Chapter 6**_

Ponyboy dragged Johnny to his feet and pulled him into an ally that was nearby and carefully put his arms around him. Johnny was shaking and the more he tried to stop, the worse it got. He was angry at himself for being so weak. He felt so helpless and here he was, being hugged by a fourteen year old kid, who had his own problems to deal with. He didn't need to also worry about Johnny.

"Johnny... I'm sorry about your mom. I really am. I-I know it's not much for comfort but _we_ care about you. Please remember that," Pony said. His voice was shaking a little but he sounded like he was trying to keep calm.

"Damn... I can't drag you to school with me. Not when you're like this." He looked around as if looking for something or someone. "Come on." He took Johnny's hand in a firm grip and led him back to the street. "We'll go find Dally. I'm sure he won't mind hanging out with you until I get home from school**.**"

Johnny just followed Pony. He didn't want to say anything, nor did he want to look up. He just kept his head down, looking at the ground as it passed by, step by step. He felt so worthless. Pony had to find him a place to stay because he could not take care of him. And he shouldn't _have_ to take care of him. Johnny was much older than Pony, although he didn't look it. He shouldn't be needing anyone to take care of him at all. And now Pony was dragging him along, trying to find Dally who had been angry with him only a few hours earlier because Johnny didn't do as he was told. Maybe his folks were right. Maybe he wasn't worth anything. Maybe that was why his mother had finally had enough and wouldn't acknowledge him anymore.

Pony stopped and turned to look at him.

"Johnny, please don't cry," he said. He sounded heartbroken and he scratched the back of his neck in what seemed to be an attempt to focus on something else.

Johnny hadn't realized that he had been sobbing, so he quickly tried to get a hold of himself.

"I'm alright... ju-just give me a second," he said as his wiped his eyes with an arm. "I'm okay now," he lied. He wanted to get away from the street. Away from people. Away from the place where his mother only a few moments earlier had flat out told him to get out of her life and never come back. He took a deep breath and searched his pockets for a smoke. Pony took one from his own pack and handed it to him.

"Thanks." Johnny took it and struck a match.

"Let's go find Dally okay?" Pony said and put his arm around Johnny's shoulder once more, leading him down the street towards Buck's place.

"Really... I'm okay, Pony. I can go with you to school. No point in bothering Dal. He probably doesn't wanna see me anyways after what I did earlier." Johnny hung his head.

"Look," said Pony. "You can't go to school like this, man. You shouldn't be around a bunch of strangers right now. Not after what just happened. You won't be able to keep it together."

"Yeah alright. You're a good friend, Pone," Johnny said with a soft voice, trying to send Ponyboy a smile. He knew there was no point in arguing. He would be dragged to Buck's place and have to face Dally. Dally had told him not to go home and, although agreeing to this, Johnny had done it anyway. Making Dally mad was the last thing Johnny wanted to do. He absolutely hated when someone in the gang was mad at him. _Especially_ Dally.

They soon reached Buck's house. Music was playing inside, making Johnny wonder if there was ever an end to that horrible music Buck seemed to like so much.

Pony went up to the door and knocked. It didn't take long before Buck stood behind the screen door, giving Pony and Johnny an irritated look.

"What do you kids want?" he asked, his voice clearly stating he didn't want them there.

"We're looking for Dally," Pony said. "You seen him?"

"Yeah I have... He's in his room upstairs. Look, kid, shouldn't you be bothering someone else? Maybe go to school or something?"

"Johnny needs a place to stay until I get home from school and Dally's the only one I knew where I could find, so can you just let Johnny come in?" Pony said, somewhat demandingly. Buck didn't really do anything unless you spoke to him like that.

Buck just rolled his eyes and opened the screen door as an invite for Johnny to come inside.

Pony smiled as he looked at Johnny. "You and Dal can just come by later, okay?"

"Okay, sure," Johnny replied, looking from Buck to Ponyboy.

"Okay. Well I gotta go or I'll be late," he said and took off, giving Johnny a quick wave.

"You coming in or not, kid?" Buck snarled.

Johnny went past him into the house without saying anything. The house was somewhat empty of people. Only a few were sitting at the bar, and from the looks of it they had been there all night. Johnny walked past them as fast as he could and headed up the stairs to Dally's room. He stood there in front of the door for a few minutes, not sure if he should knock or just go back downstairs and leave. No. He had promised Pony to stay here until he got home. He raised a shaking hand and knocked once on the door. No reply. He knocked again.

"Who is it?" Dally's voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"It - it's Johnny."

Footsteps could be heard and the door flew open. Dally stood in the doorway, only wearing his jeans and with a smoke dangling from his lip.

"What do you want kid?" Dally said, sending Johnny a curious look. Johnny usually never went to Buck's, except when there was nowhere else to go.

"Well... Darry told me to go with Pony to school, but Pony didn't think that was such a good idea, s-so he dragged me here," Johnny stuttered, trying to sound like it was no big deal.

Dally stood there for a few seconds before he took a gentle hold of Johnny's collar and dragged him inside, closing the door behind him.

Johnny looked around. The room was small and there was only a bed, a chair and a dresser in the room. It didn't look much different from his own room. As he studied his surroundings he noticed a gun lying on the bed.

"Da-Dal why do you have a gun?" he asked.

Dally signed and walked over, picking the gun up from the bed and putting it in the top drawer of the dresser.

"Don't worry about it kid," he said and went to sit down, patting the space beside him, telling Johnny to join him.

Johnny looked around and rubbed his arm, feeling unease.

"I'm not gonna bite ya," Dally said with a small laugh. "I just wanna check your head, okay?"

Johnny went to sit down beside him. "You don't have to, Dal, Darry already did."

"And I'm gonna double check, okay? Making sure Darry did a good job," he said, a bit irritated as he turned Johnny's head towards him, pushing the hair out of his eyes and taking a look at where the cut was hidden behind a bandage.

"Hmm… seems like he did okay."

He let go of Johnny's face and ruffled his hair.

They sat there, not saying anything for a while until Johnny finally found some courage and spoke.

"I'm sorry I went home, Dally. I know you're mad at me. I just didn't think."

Dally stubbed out the remaining part of his smoke and tuned his head to look at Johnny.

"Look, kid. I ain't mad anymore. I just get so pissed when that bastard beats you up. Why you even bother with your folks is something I'll never understand," he signed. "They don't give a shit, and I've been telling you that for years."

Johnny looked down at his shoes. No. They didn't care. His mother, at least, didn't. She hated him. She didn't want him. He could feel the tears building up in his eyes again and he pressed them shut as hard as he could, trying to keep the tears back, but a sob escaped his mouth. He stopped himself, hoping Dallas had not noticed but before he knew it Dallas had hooked a finger under his chin, making him face him.

"Sorry, Johnny. I'll stop talking about them for now, okay?" Dallas said, trying to keep his voice tough, but gentle as well.

"It's not you, Dal... It - it's my mom, okay? I ran into her on the street." Johnny tried to keep his voice calm but it kept breaking.

"So? What did she say?" Dallas seemed angry all of the sudden.

Johnny bit his lower lip as he went on.

"She - she's having an affair. Just like you said. And she doesn't want me no more. She wants me out of her life." Johnny started to cry. "She said I should never call her 'mother' ever again. Why- why does she hate me? Ain't I good enough? Am I that worthless?"

Johnny closed his eyes, but the tears just kept streaming down his face. He felt even more useless than before, now that he was crying in front of Dallas. He would never be good enough for anyone. It was no wonder his parents hated him so much. He was no good.

"You're not worthless! Dammit, Johnny, you're not!" Dallas took a hold of Johnny's upper arms with such a firm grip it made Johnny open his eyes and look at him, a little stunned.

"Maybe they don't care about ya but dammit I do!"

Dally pulled Johnny closer, planting his lips on his. He broke the kiss after a few seconds so he was able to speak.

"I care... more than you think, Johnny."

Johnny looked into the icy blue eyes, feeling his face burn red as Dally kissed him again. This time a little more gentle as he let go of Johnny's arms.

Johnny froze in shock. What was going on? Dally was kissing him? And why wasn't he trying to stop it?

Johnny closed his eyes again, his hands fidgeting a bit. Not sure what to do with them, he let them rest on the sheets. Dally took a gentle grip of his left hand and moved it up to his neck as an invitation for Johnny to embrace him. With a bit of hesitation, Johnny let both his arms slip around Dally's neck, feeling the older boy's arms wrap themselves around his waist, pulling him closer.

The thoughts were flashing through Johnny's head. This was wrong! They were both boys, for God's sake! Boys didn't kiss boys, did they? He should stop this! Why wasn't he stopping it?

Dally carefully leaned forward, pushing Johnny back onto the bed, carefully laying the smaller boy down beneath him. He didn't break the kiss as he did. He rested on one arm, keeping himself from lying too heavily on Johnny, and moved his other hand up to brush his hair back.

Johnny kept his eyes shut, his body shaking from every move that Dally made. If this was wrong, then why did it feel so good? He felt Dally's tongue against his teeth and out of pure reflex he opened his mouth a bit, letting Dally slip his tongue inside. Carefully it caressed his in slow movements, making Johnny forget everything around him.

Dally's hand moved from Johnny's hair and downwards. As it moved over the younger boy's face, the fingers stroked his cheek and then continued its journey down Johnny's chest and stopped as it reached his stomach, making Johnny flinch. He kept his hand there for a while and Johnny opened his eyes a bit to look at Dallas, who was looking right back at him, seeming to try to keep track of how Johnny was feeling. When Johnny looked at him, Dally's hand moved a little and took a gentle hold of Johnny's shirt, moving it a few inches upwards, letting go of the fabric and moving his hand up under the shirt.

Dally seemed to know what he was doing – so in control and sure of himself. Had he been with boys before? Johnny knew he had plenty experience with girls, but…

Johnny blushed furiously. He loosened his grip around Dally's neck, letting his hands slide down onto the older male's shoulders, taking an unsure grip on them, as Dally's hand moved upwards, reaching Johnny's chest. The fingers wandered the warm skin as they found their way to one of his nipples. One finger circled playfully around it for a few seconds, only to stroke it once, making Johnny gasp.

Dally made a small chuckling sound. He broke the kiss, only to move his head downwards, placing a kiss on Johnny's chin and after that making his way down his neck.

Johnny tilted his head back a little, giving Dallas more room.

"Dally..." Johnny wanted to ask him a million questions, but his mind was blank. It seemed impossible for him to form a sentence.

"Mhm?"

Dallas kissed his way down to Johnny's collarbone, and his hand, that was playing around under Johnny's shirt, moved down across his stomach, stopping at the top of his jeans.

Johnny moved his head to the side. He could feel his body burn with every touch.

Dally's hand fumbled with the button of Johnny's jeans, having a bit of difficulty undoing it, but managing. Without hesitation he pulled the zipper down and moved his hand back onto Johnny's stomach only to let it slide down into his boxers. Johnny's whole body flinched.

"Don't worry, Johnny. I'm not gonna hurt you," Dallas whispered.

"Da-Dal," Johnny whimpered.

_Don't play hard to get kid_

Johnny's eyes shot open.

"NO! STOP!"

Dallas sat up with a start, staring at the him.

Johnny rolled onto his side, placing both hands over his ears and curled into a ball.

"I-I can't." He started to cry. "I can't do this! I'm sorry!"

Johnny was sure that Dallas would start cursing at him for letting him go so far and not getting anything out of it, but Dallas was silent.

After what seemed like an eternity, Dallas lay down next to Johnny, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in close.

"It's okay, Johnny... it's okay."

He ran his fingers through the black hair.

"I'm sorry, Dal... I'm so sorry," Johnny kept on.

Dallas let out a small sigh, and just kept running his fingers through the shaking boy's hair.

"Don't worry about it kid. It was a stupid move. Let's just try and relax a bit, okay? Just relax." After a minute he sighed and said, "We'll head over to the Curtis' house later when you've calmed down a bit."

Johnny cuddled up to Dally's chest, feeling the warmth from his body. Dallas caressed his back, trying to help him calm down and Johnny closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He would just close his eyes for a little bit and try to forget the voice.

They lay there for a few minutes. Johnny was not sure about what had happened. It had all happened so fast. One minutes Dally had seemed mad, then he was kissing him. Then that voice had showed up in Johnny's mind and now Dally acted like nothing had happened and they would just go on over to the Curtis brothers later. Johnny was so confused. His whole world was spinning and he wasn't able to make sense of any of it.

Dally's breathing had become slow and steady. The sound of it made Johnny more at ease. He felt so tired. He wanted to ask Dally if he was mad about the whole situation but he never got to ask before he fell asleep, Dallas right there, sleeping beside him.

oOoOoOo

_**Thanks for reading ^^ I wanna say thanks to my Beta reader for helping me with this. You're a Great help :D**_

_**Also I'm very happy for the people that wanna read my story. I hope you all injoy it ^^**_


	7. Hidden away in a box

_**Chapter 7**_

"_Hmm… he's not moving. Did we kill him?"_

"_Nah, he's just a bit worn out."_

_Laughter_

"_Oh yeah Cade, before I forget. Here you go. I put in a little extra for ya."_

"_Thanks, Robert."_

_Silence for a while_

"_What do you want that stuff for anyway, Rob?"_

"_Just a few souvenirs."_

_The sound of a cigarette getting lit_

"_Listen, Cade. My wife is asking way too many questions about this box and where I go. Any chance you can keep an eye on all this for me? I might have to lie low for a few days so she won't get too suspicious"_

"_Sure, why not."_

_Door slamming_

"_What the hell is going on here?"_

"Mom…?"

"_What did you do to him?! What's in that box?! Wha-"_

"_Shut up, bitch, and mind your own business."_

_The sound of a slap_

"_You don't stick your nose in my affairs! I'm only married to you 'cause of this dumb ass kid. You don't have nothin' to say about what I do, you got that?! Finally I found some use for him, so you're just lucky I haven't killed him yet, but if you keep up your blabbering I probably will! So bud in again and I WILL kill him and it won't be hard to make it look like an accident. Trust me on that!"_

_Laughter_

"_Just hide it somewhere, Rob"_

**xxxxx**

Johnny opened his eyes. The light in the room was thrifty, leaving him somewhat confused about where he was. A slight breathing next to him made him realize that he was in fact still in Dally's room. Slowly he raised himself up onto his elbows, careful not to wake the boy next to him.

Johnny was confused. He kept having these dreams about something with his farther and some people he didn't know. They sounded drunk, but then again not really like when his dad was wasted. No, they sounded more like... He was not sure how to explain it to himself really. They just sounded weird.

Johnny carefully removed the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, planting his feet on the cold wooden floor. Looking out the window, he saw dark clouds had taken over the sky, making it hard to determine what the time was.

He hung his head and rubbed his forehead a few times. He kept thinking about the last dream he had. What had this "Rob" given his dad? And what was this box his dad had to keep for him? Also, his mom had barged in on whatever was going on and now she didn't want to acknowledge him anymore. The thoughts kept racing though his head, making his skull ache again. For a second, Johnny was sure he was going to faint but managed to gain control by taking a few deep breaths.

He looked up and out the window, as the rain started to hit the glass, making small patterns down the dirty surface. The sound calmed him down a little and he smiled for a second, remembering when he used to sit with the gang at the Curtis brothers' house whenever a storm would be too risky to sleep through out in the lot. Sodapop always said that if you were really creative and concentrated really hard, you would be able to make out small figures on the window where the rain hit. Two-Bit once said he saw a blond chick, driving a mustang and he would be sitting in the backseat, drinking beer. Then of course, everyone had said he was too creative and they would then break out laughing. Johnny would forget all his worries and just enjoy the moment.

Enjoy the moment. He was not sure what that meant anymore. He was not sure of anything. He felt locked in a box and hidden away and no one would even know where he was.

A box...

The box? Johnny started to remember the night before when he had tried to help his mom and his dad had struck him. He had seen a small box underneath the dresser in the living room.

A low mumble was heard behind him.

He looked over his shoulder at Dallas who was still sleeping but moving around a bit. Johnny sighed as he got up from the bed, careful not to wake Dally as he did.

He knew what he had to do now. If he wanted to know what was going on, he needed to find that box again, to see what was inside. But going to the house alone was no picnic. He knew that. Should he ask Dally to go with him?

No. He didn't want Dallas caught up in any of this. He would just go there and get the box.

Johnny got dressed and walked slowly towards the door, stopping dead in his tracks as he suddenly had second thoughts about the whole idea of going to the house alone. What if his dad was there? And what about the other guys?

He looked around, trying to gather his thoughts as his eyes hit the dresser next to the door. Only thinking for a few seconds, he walked over and opened the top drawer, pulling out the gun. It felt heavy in his hand. He had never held a gun before and had sworn he would never have to.

"I'm just gonna borrow this, Dal," he said in a soft voice as he stuffed the gun into his waistband. He took one last look at Dally before he headed out the door and closed it behind him.

**xxxxx**

Johnny descended the stairs and went through the bar room at Buck's house. There were a lot more people there now but none of them noticed him as he passed.

But as he reached the door he heard a voice behind him, "Hey kid, where is Dallas? I need to talk to him," an irritated Buck said as he stood up from behind the bar.

"He's sleeping, Buck," Johnny answered, not turning his head to look at him. "He'll be down later."

Not wanting to stick around for longer than necessary, he slipped out the door. The rain was coming down hard by now but it didn't matter to him. He just ran, putting a hand to his waistband, making sure the gun would not fall out by accident. The rain hit his face like small cold needles, making his hair stick to his forehead and the water run into his eyes, but he kept going. He wanted this over with. He wanted to know what had happened to him. What if his mom had disowned him because she didn't want to be the cause of his dad killing him? If that was the case, why didn't she just take him with her? He slowed down a few blocks from his house to catch his breath. He looked around, not really looking for anything but feeling a bit uneasy. The sun had set by now, leaving the streets just visible by a few streetlights.

What would he actually do if there was anyone home? Shoot them? His hand was still on the gun and the feeling of the cold metal against his skin made him sick.

Seeing his house in the distance and noticing there were no lights on made him feel more at ease. Maybe this would go smoothly and nothing would have to happen. He let go of the gun and started walking towards the house, hoping that everything would be fine.

**xxxxx**

As Johnny opened the kitchen door, it emitted a creaking sound that made it crawl down Johnny's spine. Reaching out to turn on the lights, he stopped himself, deciding it would probably be better just to leave it off, in case someone should walk by and see him. He didn't want to bother with anyone right now. Friend or foe. Besides, he knew his way around in the dark.

He walked past the small table in the kitchen to the door, leading to the living room and banged his shoulder against the door frame.

"_He's kinda cute. Is he your kid?"_

Johnny turned around. The voice was like a distant whisper. He was not sure where it came from. He tried to calm himself by taking a few deep breaths and realized he was alone.

'Am I going crazy?' he wondered as he stepped into the living room. There was only a small amount of light in the room, coming from the street lamps outside, but it was enough for him to make out where all the furniture was

Making his way to the end wall where the dresser stood, he stopped and looked around. Taking in a deep breath he got down onto his stomach and reaching in under the dresser, hoping the box was still there. His hand fumbled as dust and dirt flew around at the slightest movement. Finally his fingers hit a small object. Reaching in with both hands he got the box out and placed it on his knees. He could not see anything special about it. It was just a black box with a lid. Shaking it once, hearing that there was something inside made him even more curious. Should he just open it? No, he wouldn't be able to see what was inside with no light on anyway so he got up. He needed to leave.

As he made his way towards the front door, the lights outside suddenly went out, making the room pitch black. It completely caught him off guard, and he panicked. Stumbling around, he bumped into something and tripped. The box flew out of his hands, dropped to the floor with a clonk, and sprung open.

"Shit," Johnny whispered to himself. Now whatever was inside was all over the floor. He groped around, trying to gather the contents of the box, but he couldn't see where they were. He moved his hand up onto the table next to the couch and turned on a small lamp. He didn't feel like he had any other choice. As the light went on, he looked around. There where photos spread over the floor. A spoon. A small bag with something inside. A needle.

What the hell was all this? Johnny picked up the small bag and looked at it. It had some white power inside and he quickly dropped it. He felt sick. Drugs. His dad had drugs in the house. Johnny pushed the bag to the side with a shaking hand. A few photos lay just beside him and he picked one up. As he looked at it he froze. What was this? Johnny put a hand to his mouth, afraid he might throw up. The picture showed some older guys and one younger guy. A teenager. The boy was half naked and he looked wasted. One other guy was drinking and another was holding the boy up so he was all exposed. The teenager didn't look like he could fight back. From the looks of it he could barely stand on his own..

Johnny quickly dropped the photo. It made his stomach turn. His gaze went over the floor, seeing the other pictures lying around. There must have been at least thirty. Johnny picked up a few more, not really wanting to look at them, but he couldn't help himself. Even though he was afraid of what he might see, he looked through a few, stopping at one. His lower lip started to tremble.

The kitchen door slammed open and footsteps could be heard, but Johnny didn't care right now. He just looked at the picture.

"The hell? You little shit! What do you think you're doing?" Johnny slowly looked up at his father, who was standing in the doorway.

"Wha-what is this?" Johnny said as he looked down at the picture again.

"None of your goddamn business, kid," his dad replied, taking a sip of a beer.

"What did you do to me?" Johnny voice was low and soft. "Dad... What did you do to all these kids?"

"Hell, I didn't do anything. I just watched," his father laughed. He seemed unfazed by the whole thing.

"Bu-but why? Why me?" Johnny kept his head down, trying to hide the fact that tears where running down his face.

"Why any of them?" Mr. Cade took another sip and looked at his son, sitting on the floor. "Wait... You think you're more special than all them other kids? Just because you're my son?" He started to laugh hysterically. "You're even dumber than I thought! You're no better than any of 'em, and the only reason we didn't give you too much dope is because I got paid for letting them have fun with you!" Seriously- I'm not even sure you're my kid no more, 'cause hell no way my genes are that stupid."

Johnny sobbed. "You sold me... You let them do this to me and just took payment?"

"Wasn't even a good deal. Only got five beers out of it."

Johnny let the picture fall to the ground. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He put his hands on the floor and helped himself to his feet. How could this have happened to him? His dad had sold him for five beers. His dad had let someone drug him and use him and he didn't even care enough to say it was a mistake. He just laughed at him.

"What? Are you crying? Are you a wimp?"

Johnny shut his eyes tight as his hand flew to the gun, pulling it out and pointing at the man before him.

"YOU SOLD ME!"

His father froze, looking at the gun in Johnny's hand. "Son…? Put the gun down."

"So now I'm your son? I thought I was just a w-wimp!" Tears were streaming down Johnny's face. His lower lip trembled so bad it was almost impossible for him to speak clearly.

His father put his hands up as a sign of surrender but Johnny didn't care. He kept the gun pointed at him.

"Put the damn gun down befo-"

"Before what? Before I hurt someone? Like you?" Johnny's arm was shaking. The gun felt heavy in his hand.

"Johnny… Son...?" His dad looked at him. "Put the gun down, okay? It's all a mistake."

"You sold me…," Johnny kept saying. His voice was nothing but a small sound, escaping his lips.

His father took a step forward.

"Johnny. I love you."

Johnny's eyes went blank and he shook his head. "No you don't."

His finger squeezed the trigger.

"You never loved me."

The gun fired.

**oOoOoOo**

_**Uhuh okay so DRAMA! This was a good chapter for me to write. I was looking forward to writing about what really happend! - NOT that I enjoy what has happend to him! Don't misunderstand =.=;; More like I have been wanting to tell what happend and now Mr. Cade might get what he deserves!**_

_**Again thanks to my Beta reader ^^ **_

_**And thanks to all the followers and readers and reviewers. I am happy about all of it :D Allways nice to have people comment. Means the world to me I can asure you!**_

_**Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. ^^ 3**_

_**Zayhad~**_


	8. Why

_**Chapter 8**_

Dallas opened an eye at the sound of a door closing behind him.

"Hmm... what the hell," he mumbled and ran his fingers though his hair. The room had gone dark and voices could be heard from downstairs. He gave a small sigh. He usually didn't mind Buck's parties but right now he could really live without having to drag Johnny though a bunch of people. The kid was probably already jumpy. Not to say confused over the previous events that had happened. God, he had been such an idiot for coming on to Johnny. Not like the kid didn't have enough shit running through his head already. Now he also had to worry about Dally's actions.

"Johnny? We gotta get up. I promised Pony to bring you by," he said. Not getting an answer from the boy, he turned around, only to discover that Johnny was gone.

"Shit!" Dallas hissed. Just what he needed. Now he had scared the kid off. He stumbled out of bed, turned on the lights, and grabbing his shirt from the dresser.

"Wait a minute…" Dallas studied the dresser for a moment. "That drawer was closed before."

He dug his hands into the drawer, trying to find the gun, but with no luck.

"God dammit, Johnny!" Dallas got his shoes on and ran out and down the stairs, knocking a few people over as he passed them in the bar room. He stopped when he saw Buck behind the counter. Dallas turned around and walked to him, leaning over the desk to make sure the man could hear him.

"Did ya see Johnny?" he asked Buck, who didn't seem to care too much.

"Yeah I saw him. He left like 15 minutes ago or something," he said, shrugging. "Listen, Dally, we gotta talk business, man."

"Where did he go?" Dallas asked, ignoring Buck's question.

"Man, I don't know where the brat went! I'm not a freaking babysitter," Buck hissed.

Dallas wanted to knock him out but that would only waste time, so he turned and headed out the door, cursing as he went.

The cold evening air hit him as a slap to the face. Rain was pouring down, soaking him from top to toe in only a matter of minutes. He raced down the street, trying to spot Johnny, but the kid was nowhere to be seen.

"What the hell are you up to, Johnny?" Dallas cursed under his breath. Not completely sure where to look, he decided to run past the Curtiss' household since it was on the way to the next destination that the kid could be. He begged that Johnny would be there and that he only took the gun for protection on his way there.

Dallas busted the door open, making Darry jump from his spot in the brown chair.

"What the hell, Dallas?" Darry almost yelled, sending the teen in front of him a threatening look.

"Is Johnny here?" Dally didn't care about Darry's stare. All he thought about right now was Johnny.

"No." Darry looked confused.

"Oh, hey Dally," Ponyboy said as he entered the room with a book in his hand. He stopped and his expression changed when he saw that Dally had come alone.

"Where's Johnny?" he asked.

"That's what _I'd_ like to know!" Dally's eyes searched the room, as if the boys had hid Johnny somewhere.

"I thought he was with you?" Pony said.

"Well he ain't, alright?" Dallas hissed, making Pony take a few steps back.

Darry stepped in front of his younger brother, shielding him from Dallas, should he suddenly feel like taking a swing at Pony.

"What's going on?"

Two-Bit stumbled through the door.

"Are we having a group therapy session in the living room? You shoulda called. I could go for a good talk," he grinned, but only for a second, seeing the expression on Dally's face.

"Hey serious, guys. What's up?"

"Johnny's missing," Darry said, not taking his eyes off Dally.

Dally turned around without saying a word and headed for the door, pushing Two-Bit aside, not even looking at him.

"Look after Pony, okay, Two-Bit?" Darry said as he went after Dallas.

"But Darry," Pony started.

"You stay here with Two-Bit, you got that?" Darry cut him off, and seeing his younger brother nod, he went out the door, following Dally down the street.

"Where are you going Dallas?" Darry yelled, trying to catch up.

"I'm going to Johnny's house. That damn kid just doesn't get it when I tell him what to do, so I'm guessing he went there again."

"Why would he even be there, Dallas?" Darry started.

"Why does he _ever_ go there, huh?" Dallas tried to hide his concern with a hissing attitude. "That kid always goes home even though he knows they'll beat on him and he doesn't seem to get it."

Darry took a hold of Dally's shoulder but his hand was pushed away.

Darry looked at him for a second, then asked, "Why did he leave you in the first place, Dal? Pony said you had decided that he should stay with you and you both would come to our place later. What happened?"

Dallas felt his face burn and he was happy it was dark outside. When he thought about it, he wasn't sure why Johnny had left. If he had scared him off or it was something else. Dallas stopped and looked over at Darry.

"I dunno, Dar. Okay? The kid does crazy shit all the time."

"What are you not telling me," Darry asked, seeming happy they had stopped to talk.

Dallas was not surprised that Darry didn't let it go. He always seemed to know when either of the boys in the gang kept something hidden.

Dallas sighed. "Look, man. Johnny was upset about his parents. Like always. The thing is…" he stopped himself. He really didn't want to tell Darry about the gun. It wasn't that he was afraid to tell him. It was more the fact that he had a gun and now Johnny had it.

"What?" Darry asked.

Dallas took a deep breath.

"Johnny took a gun I had stashed. I think he took it for protection."

"WHAT?" Darry almost screamed at him. "You let Johnny get his hands on a gun? Why the hell do you even have one?"

Darry hated guns. Dallas knew that. Dally even hated them himself, but Darry screaming at him made him go into a defensive mode.

"What's it to you, man? There are a bunch of reasons to have one in this neighborhood and it wasn't like I was gonna keep it around Pony or Johnny, man, so chill!"

Truth be told, Dallas had the gun because if he ever got the chance, he would shoot Johnny's father dead and not even think twice about it. He hated that man for ever laying a hand on the kid. The last few days it had gotten worse with Johnny's parents, and the fact that Johnny just took it made Dallas angry.

"God dammit, Dallas." Darry ran his fingers though his hair and closed his eyes.

Dallas felt like a small kid getting scolded by a parent and he didn't like that feeling one bit. He was just about to start telling Darry a thing or two when his thoughts where interrupted by the sound of a gunshot in the distant. In the direction of Johnny's house.

He looked at Darry, eyes wide and face turning pale, and without saying a word he started running towards the house.

_No. NO!_ he thought as he got to the front door and kicked it in. He stopped dead in his tracks, Darry right beside him.

"Johnny?"

Johnny stood in the middle of the room with his side to them, his face expressionless and his eyes blank. All around him lay pictures. Some face down and some crumbled.

Dallas glanced at the pictures and, not being able to make out what were in them from the distance, he turned his attention back to Johnny,

Hearing a small moan he turned his head and saw Johnny's father lying on the floor, his hand to his shoulder and eyes shut tight. The sweat streaming down his face made his hair stick to his forehead. Blood was gathering on the floor below him.

"Johnny?" Darry took a step forward, but stopped as Johnny turned a little and raised the arm that had been hidden at his side.

"Johnny what are yo-" started Darry, eying the gun in Johnny's hand, pointing at him.

Johnny's expression didn't change. "Don't... come any closer."

Darry and Dally exchanged concerned looks.

"Johnny... put the gun down okay?" said Dallas and took a step forward, which resulted in Johnny pointing the gun at him instead. Dally put his hands up as a sign of surrender.

"Just give me the gun, okay?" He took one more step.

"Don't tell me what to do. Just... stop." Johnny's voice was trembling and for every step forward Dally took, Johnny took a few steps back.

"You haven't done anything yet, kid. You can walk away and this never happened," Dally said, trying to reach Johnny's shattered mind.

"You don't understand. You don't know what he did!" Johnny put his free hand to his forehead, fingers getting tangled in his hair, and tears started to overflow his eyes.

"He deserves to die! And so do I. I can't take this anymore!"

Darry took a step forward but Dally reached out an arm, signaling him to stay back, before taking one more step towards Johnny.

It hurt him to see Johnny like this, and he wanted nothing more than to take his pain away. But what had happened since Johnny was suddenly this desperate? He took one more step and heard a rustling sound under his foot Watching Johnny out of the corner of his eye, he bent his knees to pick up the picture he had stepped on.

"Don't..." said Johnny in a pleading voice, almost a whisper.

Dally looked at the picture. His stomach turned as his gaze went to the man on the floor. He felt sick, but he tried not to show it as he dropped the picture. Johnny had not moved even though Dally had taken a few more steps. He was just standing there, shaking almost uncontrollably.

Johnny's expression changed when Dallas caught his eye. Tears started flowing down his cheeks and he looked so distraught that it was almost unbearable to look at, even for Dallas. Dallas was suddenly glad that he had his back to Darry, because he was sure that he looked anything but tough right now.

"He... he did this to me," Johnny said. Then he turned the gun on his father, who was trying to crawl away.

"HOW COULD YOU! Ho-how could you," Johnny whimpered, his voice breaking as he spoke.

"Johnnycakes... Johnny?" Dally took the last few steps before reaching him. "Johnny, give me the gun." He carefully reached out and closed his hand gently around Johnny's wrist, trying to gain eye contact with him.

Johnny looked at him for a brief moment, but it was enough for him to start sobbing. He tried to gain control of himself as his gaze turned to his father again.

Dally tightened his grip on Johnny's wrist.

"It's okay. Just give me the gun."

Johnny's bottom lip trembled as he kept staring at his dad.

Dallas put his free hand on the kid's shoulder and slipped the other hand down his wrist to the gun. He carefully pried Johnny's fingers open and took the gun away from him.

"He's not worth your life, kid," he said as he pulled Johnny close.

Johnny pressed his face against Dally's shoulder and started sobbing loudly.

"He is not gonna ruin your life in death as well..."

Darry picked up the bag of drugs and a couple of pictures from the floor. A sick expression appeared on his face, as he looked through the photos.

"Thank god, you got the gun away from that crazy kid," Johnny's farther spat.

Dally felt rage well up inside him. His grip on the gun tightened as he turned and pointed it at the man, now sitting with his back against the wall.

"But _I _sure as hell have no problem shooting your good for nothing sorry ass!" he growled.

"Winston!" Darry roared, making Johnny flinch. "Give me the gun!"

"Why the hell should I? This bastard deserves to die! For all the shit he has done to Johnny!" Dally just wanted this to end. He wanted Johnny to be safe.

"And what good will you do Johnny in jail? What good will you do him if you get the death sentence for killing that guy? He will get what he deserves, but let the police handle it."

"The police can't handle shit!" Dally spat, but he knew Darry was right. If he shot Johnny's dad, he would go to jail, and he would probably get the death penalty as well for shooting this sorry excuse for a human being. And as Darry said. What good would Dally be to Johnny after all he had been though, if he was six feet under.

Not pleased with letting Darry know he was right, he handed him the gun and wrapped both arms around Johnny. He turned his head and sent Johnny's dad a glare.

"Be happy Mr. big man there was here to save your ass," he hissed at him.

Darry searched the room and spotted a phone on a table next to a dresser and walked over to pick it up.

"Who you calling, man?" Dally asked.

"The cops of course," Darry replied as he dialed the number.

Dally sat Johnny down on the couch. The boy had stopped crying but the tears where still rolling down his face. His eyes had yet again gone back to an empty gaze. He was not sure if Johnny even knew where he was, and Dally wanted nothing more than to just stay beside him. But he needed to make sure Mr. Cade didn't run anywhere, so he went over to the older man and stopped next to him. He stood and watched him for a moment.

The older man returned his gaze with a hateful look.

"No wonder that kid is so stupid, if you're the friends he has," he said with an ugly grin.

Dallas couldn't help but chuckle, as he ran his fingers through his messy hair and planted a foot on the damaged shoulder, making the man scream in pain.

Darry looked at him and sighed. He said a few things as he got through to the police and then hung up. He stuffed something in his pocket and let the small bag lie on the table as he got up and went over to Dally.

"Go over to Johnny and make sure he's okay," he commanded. Dallas sent him a displeased look but did as he was told, only to hear a punching sound, as he was halfway to couch. Dally looked over his shoulder and saw Mr. Cade lying unconscious on the floor and Darry clutching his sore fist. Johnny did not seem to register what had happened.

"So _you_ can hit him, but I can't?" Dally said, incredulous.

"Just get Johnny and let's go," Darry chuckled, clearly pleased with himself.

Dally smiled for a second and squatted in front of Johnny.

"Hey, kid. Let's get ya outta here," he said.

Johnny didn't move. He just kept starring down at his shoes.

Dally sat there for a few seconds, trying to get Johnny up but little did it help. Johnny seemed paralyzed. Darry walked over and hooked one arm under Johnny's legs and the other under his arms, lifted him up from his spot on the couch.

"Let's get going," he said as he walked over to the door and outside, Dally right behind him.

oOooOo

"Why didn't we wait for the cops, Darry?" Dally said as they walked down the street.

Darry shrugged. "I didn't feel like bothering with them. I just made an anonymous call, telling them about some drug dealing and possible connections to the murder of a few young boys."

"What? Murder?" Dallas looked confused. "What the hell do you mean?"

"I saw the pictures, Dally. I saw one of those kids on TV the other day. He had died from an overdose. And from what was going on in those pictures I'm sure they can link Johnny's dad to something that will put him away for a long time." He sighed. "And I'm sure that scumbag will tell on his friends as well, just to get off easy."

Dally looked over at Johnny, whose eyes were closed and his breathing heavy.

"What will happen to Johnny when this gets out, man?" Dally knew that not many people in this neighborhood would understand the circumstances of what had happened and would only see Johnny for a kid who slept with older men and did drugs or whatever.

"No one will hear about it," Darry said, not looking at Dallas as he spoke.

Dally stopped as they reached the house. How were people not to find out? This would be all over the news in no time. The death of the young boys had been the major headlines the last few weeks, and when people found out it was murder it would surely be even bigger.

They reached the house. The lights were out and Ponyboy and Soda had gone to bed it seemed.

"What you wanna tell 'em?" Dally asked.

They looked at each other for a brief moment.

"Nothing… for now. That's probably for the best," Darry sighed and went up the stairs.

"Probably right, Dally replied.

"Might be best just to forget it for now," he said in a low voice as they both went inside with Johnny.

oOooOooOooOooOOo

**_Thanks for the review's and followers. I know the last chapter took a few of guard and well, I'm sorry for that ^^;; I hope everyone enjoyed this one and that Johnny's dad got his butt kicked. Some might ask "Why the hell didn't you kill him off!" well... I dunno :P just dosen't work for me I guess._**

**_Next: Last chapter!_**


	9. In the dark it will stay for now

_**Chapter 9**_

The fire burned hot in the tin barrel in the back yard. Darry stood watching as the fire consumed old newspapers and leaves. The embers flew up and got swiped away by the cold morning air. As he gazed into the red hell of the flames he wondered how it had all come to this. When had the streets changed to this kind of madness with drugs, murder and child abuse of this kind? He felt such a deep sorrow in his chest and wished his mother and father had been here to tell him what he should do. He felt helpless. If this happened only a few blocks from here, where else was this going on around the East side of Tulsa? He had seen the pictures. He had seen not one. Not two. But _four_ people abusing kids. Teenagers, yes. But still kids. How could he keep his brothers safe from this hell?

He sighed and pulled something out of his pocket. The picture of Johnny was in his hand and the mere sight of it made his stomach turn once more. Without hesitation he let it fall down into the barrel and as the fire consumed it, he thought to himself that maybe he couldn't save the world, but at least he could save Johnny for now.

"What're you doing, Darry?" Sodapop stepped out of the house and walked up to him. Darry kept starring into the fire but caught his younger brother's worried look out of the corner of his eye.

"Just… getting rid of the trash," he said and sent Soda a small smile. "How's Johnny?"

Soda shrugged.

"He's still asleep. Pony's sitting with him, doing some homework I think." Soda studied Darry's face. "What happened last night?"

Darry was unsure of what to tell Soda. It would probably be best to let Johnny decide for himself what to tell people. So he settled with a hand on Soda's shoulder and a few words.

"Just some trouble at Johnny's house," he said slowly. "Has Dallas come back yet?"

Soda shook his head. Dallas had left before the sun had gotten up and none of the boys knew where he went. He had been in the room with Johnny for hours, not saying anything. When the three had come back, Pony and Soda had gotten up from their bed, only to see Johnny asleep in Darry's arms and Dallas looking like he could have killed someone. The two had asked both Dallas and Darry what had happened, but none of them would say. Darry hated to lie to his brothers, but he and Dally had agreed not to say anything for now. Not to _any_ of the boys in the gang.

Darry studied the fire and with the uplifting sight of the pictures all burned up he put an arm around Soda's shoulder and walked them back to the house.

"Come on Pepsi cola. Let's make some breakfast."

**ooOooOooOoo**

The sound of a pen scrabbling on paper, broke though the long lasting silence of his mind. Opening his eyes just a small bit to get used to the light, Johnny rolled over onto his back. Where was he?

"Oh, you're awake," a familiar voice said.

Johnny got up onto his elbows and spotted Pony sitting at the desk, looking at him with a small smile on his lips.

"How are you feeling?"

Johnny sent him a confused look. He felt a little lightheaded and a bit nauseous, but apart from that he felt fine.

"I'm okay," he said. "What happened?"

Ponyboy shrugged. "I don't know. Darry and Dallas came back late last night with you, and you were asleep." He leaned back in the chair. "They didn't wanna tell us what had happened."

Johnny sat up and leaned back against the wall. Pony kept looking at him and his smile had faded into a concerned look.

"You don't remember do you?" he asked.

Johnny shook his head lightly.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

He sat there for a while, trying to gather his thoughts. What did he remember? Pony and him walking down the street. His mother and the formal looking man. Going to Buck's to see Dally. Dally. Dally and him.

He felt his face burn red as he looked away from his friend. He and Dally in the room. He had left the room and gone home.

"I... I think I went home to get something." He paused for a second. "But I don't remember what."

Pony sighed and Johnny looked back at him, feeling the blush from his face had gone down.

"What are you doing?" he asked, trying to change the subject. His head hurt whenever he tried to think about last night.

"Oh, I'm just writing that essay," Pony grinned. "I figured I would sit with you until you woke up, so I might as well get some homework done."

Johnny sent him a small smile.

"So you found something to write about then."

Ponyboy looked down at the paper on the desk.

"Yeah you can sort of say that."

As Johnny was about to ask about the essay's storyline, the door opened, making both him and Pony look up to see Dally in the doorway.

"Dally? Where yo-"

"Hey kid," Dally cut Pony off. He looked at Johnny, before speaking again. "Beat it, will ya? I need to talk to Johnny alone."

Pony sent Dally a look but when Dally glared back at him, Pony got up and took his papers with him. He slipped past Dallas without a word and Dally closed the door.

"How are ya, kid?" he asked as he went to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm fine, Dal." Johnny tried to figure out what Dally was thinking as he sat there on the bed, looking at him. His eyes indicated that he hadn't slept for a good while.

Dally stretched his arm out and Johnny flinched and shut his eyes tight. He felt a hand on his cheek, making him open his eyes a few inches and look at Dally, who was now sitting a bit closer to him.

"I'm not gonna hurt ya, you know," he said in a low voice. "How are you _really_ feeling Johnnycakes?"

Johnny sent Dally a confused look, noticing the other boy, for a mere second sounded really concerned.

"I-I'm confused Dal, I don't remember what happened." He put a hand to his forehead and looked down. What had he been doing? He had gone home. And then… his father? He had seen his father. His gaze went to Dally once more.

"Did... I have a fight with my dad?"

Dally's expression changed back to the old Dallas Winston as he removed his hand from Johnny's cheek.

"You could say that, yeah. The bastard tri-" He stopped himself.

"You and your dad had a fight, yeah. He tried to beat you up again and Darry and me stopped him. Someone had called the cops on him, man." Dally scratched his neck. "Seems your old man had some drugs or something stashed, so the fuzz took him with 'em."

Johnny's head dropped.

"I don't remember that at all," he said.

"Nah, man. You were out cold. We took you back here."

"What's... what's gonna happen to me now, then?" Johnny said, peeping out from under the black bangs covering his face.

Dally pulled out a cigarette.

"Well, as you told me yesterday, your mom ran away with some guy, but I highly doubt she'll bother with the trouble of giving you up formally, so probably no one'll know that you're alone." He stopped as Johnny let out a few sobs. He hooked a couple of fingers under his chin, making him look up.

"Hey, kid. You're not alone. Only parent-wise. Kinda like me." He sent him a small grin as he put the cigarette in his mouth. "You got the gang, man. Don't worry."

"And you?" Johnny bit his lip. "What about you?"

Dally shrugged. "Hell, man I can take care of myself. But I suppose I got the gang as well."

"That's not what I meant, Dal. I-I meant. Do I got you too?" Johnny stuttered.

Dally sent him a look like he was stupid for asking.

"What kind of question is that?"

Johnny took a firm grip of the blankets that covered the lower half of his body, in a nervous gesture.

"Yesterday. In your room. We..."

He felt so stupid. He didn't even know how he really felt about it all. And more importantly - he had no idea how Dally felt. If it had just been an act of lust or if there was more to it. It was a wrong thing to do. _That _he knew. But for some reason it had felt right to him.

Dally smiled for a second as he removed the cigarette from between his lips and leaned over, planting them on Johnny's, making him blush violently. As he pulled away, he let Johnny's head drop and ruffled his hair.

"Yeah, man, you got me. You're not getting rid of me that easy. Might just not be a good idea to talk about _this _to anyone though." He laughed as he got up. "You know - reputation and all."

Johnny sent him a small smile.

"Yeah, you're probably right, Dal," he replied in a low voice, his feeling still mixed. Dally seemed like it really was no big deal at all.

Dally lit his smoke and looked down at Johnny.

"You better get some rest, huh, kid. I'm gonna go out and talk to the others," he said. "Call if you need anything, will ya?"

He gave a wave, his back turned to Johnny and as he was about to leave the room he stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"You know, Johnnycakes. I really _do_ like you. I guess more than I probably should." His head turned to look straight ahead. "And telling the others how I feel about ya… it's not such a good idea, 'cause they won't understand." Dally didn't say anymore. Nor did he look at Johnny again. He just left the room, closing the door behind him.

Johnny couldn't help but smile a little at Dally's words and as he lay down, pulling the covers over himself, he felt a small bit of relief. But he also had an aching feeling inside that something bad had happened. Dally had said that his dad had beat on him. But... he didn't have any bruises. No new ones, at least. But Dally wouldn't lie to him. Would he? He felt guilty about his dad being in prison because of him. But Dally had said his father had had drugs in the house. That might have been more the reason he got pulled into the station, then.

Johnny's eyelids where getting heavy. He so badly wanted to remember, but giving in to the tiredness, he decided maybe it would be okay to just leave it for now. Just for now.

**ooOooOooOoo**

"So? How is he?" Darry asked as Dallas entered the kitchen. Dally had told off several of the boys in the living room when they asked about what had happened, and now he just looked like he wanted to kill someone.

"He doesn't remember what happened, Darry." Dallas leaned against the wall, tilting his head back. He seemed tired and beaten.

"Probably best for now he doesn't remember," Darry said and put down his newspaper. He usually sat in the living room when he read but today all the boys where here. Not that it was a problem at all but he just didn't want to seem like he was hiding anything. Also, he was not in the mood to talk about last night. His brothers had already asked enough questions.

"Where have you been, by the way?"

Dally sent him a glare but dropped it as fast as it appeared.

"I went to make sure that bastard was taken to jail," he replied. "Also went around town, just to see if there was any news about it on the streets."

Darry sent him a curious look.

"And was there?"

Dally grinned as he threw the rest of his smoke in the sink.

"Nah, man. Just talk about some old guys getting hauled off to the station for drug dealing. Guess the old man _did_ tell on his friends after all." He pulled out another smoke.

"I guess he did," Darry said and picked up his newspaper. "Oh and Dally. The rules still stick. No smoking inside. I let that one before slip."

Dally sighed and went out into the living room, making his way past the boys, who showered him with questions. He just mumbled and went outside. Darry couldn't help but smile a little. Okay, so maybe there was a lot of shit going on on this side of town, but they would all look out for each other. That he was sure of.

His thoughts where interrupted by a loud crash, followed Two-Bit laughing and Steve swearing.

"Two-Bit!" Darry called and got up.

"What?" the other boy yelled back. "He started it!"

Darry sighed as he headed for the living room.

"You know Johnny is trying to sleep, right?"

Two-Bit and Steve peeped up from behind the couch.

Darry just shook his head and went back into the kitchen. As he sat back down he noticed Ponyboy stand in the doorway.

"Darry. Is it okay I go back into the room? I need to finish my essay and I could keep an eye on Johnny."

Darry gave him a short nod and as Ponyboy turned, Darry asked, "What are you writing about, Pony?"

His kid brother stopped.

"Oh, nothing much. Just this crazy family of ours. How we take care of each other," he replied and left for the room.

Darry rested his head in his hand and sighed.

"That kid just knows everything," he smiled and continued reading his newspaper.

* * *

**_Well that was the last chapter for this story. I hope everyone enjoyed it. This was my very first Fanfic (incase someone missed that)_**

**_It was fun to try and write one and I'm very happy for the reviews and followers and of course the Favorites as well. I hope to be able to write another story someday soon. I just need an idea first *smiles*_**

**_Thanks to my beta reader for the awesome surport and help. :D_**

**_For the Johnny x Dally part. I know not much happend but thats just how it is for now. maybe I'll write a ekstra chapter if it has any interest :P_**

**_also! Be sure to check out mt Deviantart page for art for my stories! link on my profile :D_**

**_Take care all of you untill we "meet" again!_**

**_Take care all of you !_**


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